Oh, Sriracha. What would we do without you? You're the firey, Asian ketchupness that makes everything better. You're the cock sauce of our hopes and dreams. You enspicen our pho and improve our noodles. You are perfect in every way, from your terrifying redness to your reassuring green bottle cap.
And you are now a lollipop, to be celebrated and embraced all on your own. You may hurt our mouths, but we cannot and will not quit you.